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"Yeah, there was a lotta electricity in the air tonight," said the Reptile coach, after the Interstate Circuits switched off the Lizards 8-6. "Unfortunately all the negative charges were over here and the positive charges were in the other dugout." Never known to be very well wired, the Lizards started slow and then tapered off all together in perhaps their most low light showing of the year. Once again a shining defense just could not overcome less than brilliant hitting.
"Yeah, 'the power man' was all over the diamond," analyzed the coach. "There were times when you would just see a cloud of dust as he scrambled for a worm burner. Then that slight body would shoot up off the ground like a bottle rocket and he would fire a frozen rope throw to first. I wish I could clone the guy, but then of course the team would never be able to pay the beer bill."
"I think if we are going to continue experiencing the same lack of hitting we've seen in the past few weeks I'm gonna ask some of our American Indian team members to do the rain dance before our next contests," revealed the Lizard coach. "I mean we might as well be rained out 'cause Lord knows I need my beauty sleep and I'm tired of giving up my Wednesday evenings just to watch the other teams run the bases while we seem to be practicing bunting."
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Often
bright defensive charges were led by the sparkling play of Rick
'the power man' K.(SS), Adolph 'electron' G.(3B), Michelle 'kilowatt'
A.(2B) and the always bright and sometimes shocking Lori 'the
circuit breaker' S.(1B).
"But,
I tell ya, I gotta kick outta watching Lori. For that matter so
did one Circuit trying to make it to first when she showed a little
of her electrifying on the back, break dancin' catching style.
Its a good thing they don't allow steel spikes in this league
or I think she woulda made that player a soprano, if you know
what I mean. That was when she made that upside down, reverse
spin with a full gainer catch. Boy, I love that kinda stuff. You
gotta respect a player with that kinda heart and drive who's not
afraid to get a little dirt in her teeth."
'Adolph
the electron' was one of the few bright spots offensively for
the Lizards. The third baseman hit three for three including one
double to right and driving in two runs.
Irish
Lizard Eric '220' M.(CF) was there twice in the first inning under
two Circuit flyballs, but in a freak act of God both times, gusts
of wind came from nowhere to knock the ball away from his outstretched
glove allowing Circuits to connect with home plate.
"Ole
'220' is a fast one ain't he," spurted the coach. "I swear
the boy can run faster than greezzed lightnin', but sometimes
he forgets to pop the drag chute. I think ole Rick 'the light
must be out' H.(DH) must be takin' lessons from that foreign Lizard.
He ain't nowhere near as fast, but once he showed what looked
like the Irishman's early season style when he over ran second.
He said he was just tryin' to be aggressive and steal third, but
I don't know. Well, he was out like a light, of course. That performance
was only surpassed by his two pop-ups, one with the bases loaded.
I definitely think the lights are on but nobody's home with that
boy, and I may bench his butt at least until the results of the
psycho test come back."
Seldom
outshined, a few Lizards were seen after the lack luster game
blaming the umpires and slipping the park electricians a few beers
and bucks. Look for more calls from Blue favoring the Reptiles
in the future and freak, unexplained electrical black outs when
the Lizards trail. Reptiles will prevail.
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