G-MAN

Yes, I will write and take pictures of just about anything…

by on Feb.22, 2011, under Creativity, God is testing me, Humor

Ugh…isn’t’ that what everyone says when they go to the dentist?

I had my bi-annual cleaning today and to ease my nervousness, I decided to document the experience.

And yes, you can all call me a “big Baby” if you want – I can take it.

Liz is already doing it because in her youth she had bad teeth but through perseverance and cash, they are quite beautiful now. But she still gives me a hard time because I don’t get cavities like she does.

Jeez, that woman has had quite a bit of work done on her teeth which explains why she hums so well and beautiful…she’s picking up radio stations.

See what most of you don’t know is that until I was 30, I had never been to a dentist and I lucked out in the “ROCK” category as I was told I had some good chompers or boulders as molars.

At least until I had to have my wisdom teeth pulled, a crown placed, then a root canal through the crown in the span of two years! Needless to say, I switched Dentists on the recommendation of my good friends, Pat and David.

The staff at Dr Monier’s dental office is just wonderful. Especially Nicole MY dental hygienist who is great — yes…she’s mine because she knows how to calm me down. Plus, Dr. Monier always comes in and addresses me by my first name before checking on my teeth and how I’m doing.

But, I wanted to say, “Thank you to Nicole” who is very patient with me. She is very good at what she does and is always encouraging me with, “Your gums look great and you’re doing a good job at flossing as well.”

Very important words to me since I know flossing and brushing at home, prevents me from having to sit in that CHAIR, staring up at the ceiling tiles.

Hey…is that a new water stain?

Nicole is also very friendly and even though she knows I have objects in and hanging from my mouth, she still tries to have a conversation with me. She’ll ask about my kids, work and stuff. She’s nice enough to say, “Okay, close mouth” so the pools of water being blasted at my teeth are sucked up via that little vacuum pipe hooked on my cheek and I can respond after a hard swallow.

She’s also really good at sensing if I’m in any discomfort and apologizes if she caused my pain.

So there I sit, trying not to jump because it’s really not the pain that gets me…it’s the anticipation of pain.

Even when Nicole accidentally strikes a soft spot and sees my eyes blink, she stops and asks if I’m okay.

Again, it’s not the pain, it’s the anticipation of it that kills me. I’m also amazed at how these dental hygienist can just reach in, pull back my cheek and start scraping metal objects against my teeth.

I mean I did that quite a bit trying to impress folks with my teeth bottle openers in my youth.

C’mon…we all did it with beer bottles right?

I was telling her about my Emmy’s school project with Annie Oakley and showed her some pictures on my iPhone. I told her I post them on my blog and she asked if I was going to document this event and I said, “Well, sure why not.” She was even nice enough to allow me to take some pictures with my iPhone. She was a good sport.

I know some of the images are blurry and a little discolored but you try to aim your iPhone back at yourself while getting your teeth cleaned. But documenting it kept me from going crazy sitting in that chair gripping the arms rests, the back of my legs sweating…okay…okay…TMI.

But thanks to Nicole, I’m fine and left with smooth clean teeth, a nice new tooth brush, toothpaste and floss. She walked me to the counter, wished me well and turned me over to Jennifer – The Teeth Cleaning Appointment Bounty Hunter. She is also very nice AND very good at tracking me down for my next scheduled visit. Hence the moniker I’ve bestowed upon her. :-)

I do have some observations and questions though:

When the dental hygienist asks me to look up and “over” where do I stare? I don’t look at her because I’m afraid she’ll see the fear in my eyes as she scrapes, picks, polishes my teeth.

So I stare over her shoulder as if someone else was looking over her should at me. If that doesn’t work then I just start counting the pin-holes in the ceiling tiles…again.

Would it be rude to try and meditate? I mean, I’m constantly trying to relax. I’m just a ball of nerves, as I sit/lay during the cleaning.

I remember at the beginning of my visits and some “scaling” I had done a while back (ugh) – I was like a rigid board in the chair.

Afterwards, I would leave and I would just be exhausted from tensing up. Would it be rude to fire up my iPod and some Enya? They have TVs but I’ve already seen AVATAR.

But the visits are getting better. I asked Nicole if it was because she doesn’t have to work so hard to clean my teeth or if I’m just getting better at relaxing. I think she responded, “You’re getting better.”

“Better at what? Brushing and flossing at home…or not being such a big baby?”

She just smiled.

Feel free to post below in the comments section. I’m sure I’ll get a lot of posts on me being a big baby.

Thanks for letting me share.

Beto (Gilberto)


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3 Comments for this entry

  • Nicole Darling

    You are hilarious, Gilberto! Thanks for the laughs :) You were BY FAR my favorite patient today! Keep up with the flossing; you’re doing great!!!

  • Robin Zamora

    Nicole is a pretty awesome hygienist!

  • Jon Mullinix

    Nicole is great with her work, I take her Mom to her when I can for her teeth too.
    Nicole ( Punky) always says to me, Dad let me see your teeth. I say no no no I only have two left I brush four times day and they are in good shape.
    I just love my Punky

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